Chasing Shadows

Saturday 5 November 2011 | 20:05 PM

I’m all alone. All by myself in the cold, rainy, dark night - listening to Adele’s Someone Like You.

I don’t even know what this feeling is; it feels like I’m losing another part of myself. Everything around me is changing so fast. Even the weather has stopped being warm to me. I’m approaching the same day as in years past, but the feeling is no longer the same—and it never will be again.

Now, I am truly alone.

Sometimes, when I wake up and look into the mirror, I don't even recognize the man looking back at me. So much trouble I’ve caused, so many hearts I’ve broken, so many things I’ve wasted. Every day, I keep chasing the time that lies behind me, hoping I could turn back the clock and fix the mistakes I’ve made. It’s like chasing your own shadow; you can see it, but you can never catch it.

Honestly, I really miss the high school days—when all your friends were beside you and when you made a mistake, everyone could easily forgive you. I miss my days in the Foundation Centre. All those memories seem to be fading, the joy has vanished, and the people I once knew have changed so quickly.

If only I could go back to the past. I wish I never had to grow up only to see friendships fall apart and relationships break. It hurts. It really hurts. Maybe no one can see the wound, but deep inside, it is tearing me apart.

Rewinding time, I used to be the guy who always had friends beside him wherever he went. When things got difficult, they were there. But now? I am indeed a loner. I walk alone.

#ForeverAlone

To all my friend

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha,

Indeed i miss those time we spent together but seems like everyone of us have our own path, our own future-to-build. Thus, i wish you succeed in making your way. Guess from now, i will strive alone.

Good luck team.